The mainstream media has been falling over each other to put
Trump’s cock in the spotlight. I have no idea why, but every time they do, it keeps
coming back at them, and Trump walks away unsullied.
It all started with Little Marco. Who will ever forget
Donald defiantly pushing back on the Rubio campaign’s death-rattle insinuation
that he has a tiny dick?
"I have to say this,
he hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I've never heard
of this one. Look at those hands. Are they small hands?” He said, holding
his hands at head level, rotating them to make sure we got a good long look at
both sides.
“I guarantee you there’s no
problem. I guarantee you.”
At that beautiful moment in presidential campaign history,
millions of US Citizens and foreign spectators found themselves thinking the exact
same three things:
- Trump’s hands don’t look small…
- Donald is talking about his COCK!
- Rubio was lying about Trump having a small dick!
Simple logic folks.
Immediately, Clintonistas, pearl-clutching journalists and news
actors everywhere simultaneously bemoaned Trump’s lack of prudishness. Gideon
Resnick, A Daily Beast hack, accused him of having a “fragile masculinity.” Search
the Web for “Trump’s Hands” and you’ll find endless articles, videos and
interviews analyzing Trump’s defense of his member. The only way he could have
gotten his cock more press would have been to pull it out on national TV and
swing it around for all to see. The mainstream media can only dream.
Sadly, at least for prudes, Trump kept rising in the polls.
Shortly after Trump’s inspired defense, his accuser shrank into oblivion,
forever branded as Little Marco. Trump went on to amass the highest vote total
in the history of GoP primaries. Coincidence? I think not.
Consider what might have happened in a dark, alternate world
where Trump ignored Marco’s insinuation, and let stand the idea that he has a
small dick. Would you ever be able to look at his hands again without thinking
that he is stuck in the little leagues? I wouldn’t.
I tried to explain the importance of this to my wife, but
she just doesn’t get it. Attacking the substance of a man’s true character –
the fitness of his man-meat – is an offense that cannot be tolerated. This is
an insult that has been around from the beginning of time. In fact, it can
still be seen written in the streets of ancient Pompeii, scrawled in the street
by one man about another man thousands of years ago. This is a rumor whispered by
the head high-school cheerleader about the starting quarterback to all her hot friends,
eventually leading to the coach benching him and his mom talking to him about
the dangers of chronic masturbation. It is a multi-generational insult used to emasculate
and dehumanize one’s enemies, weakening their public stature to the point where
no one wants to associate with them, driving them into the wild or at least
into an intimate relationship with pornography and auto-eroticism.
Now, fast forward to the last couple of weeks when the
public discourse took another unexpected and important turn when the major issue
on all the lips of the mainstream media became the turgidity of what they now
accept is Trump’s huge dick.
Shortly after the arrival of new campaign manager Kellyanne
Conway, Trump started to take a more measured and nuanced approach to spreading
his love for the country around. No one knows for sure where it started (I’m not
looking it up), but the new approach was quickly described by an abundance of prognosticators
as a “softening.” Donald is obviously going limp, they told us.
One of the early articles came from the Washington Post, who
in all likelihood has a staffer double checking every bit of new tape on Donald
to make sure no opportunity to work Donald’s cock into whatever they can has
slipped by the rest of the staff. Ed O’Keefe and Jenna Johnson showed their aptitude
for slipping it in with this clever headline:
“Trump ‘softening’ on immigration? Many of his supporters don’t seem to
mind.”
Oh, we mind Ed
and Jenna. Then again, neither of you have ever seen a hard cock in your lives,
so what the hell do you know?
On Morning Joe, Mika – who now makes a living acting like Trump’s
spurned lover, while sitting next to her current lover – took glee in the idea
that Trump might be losing his trademark hardness. She and the rest of MSNBC’s
team of soft-journalists bandied about the terms “softening” and “hardening” in
a conversation that can be paraphrased, without losing any nuance, with the following:
“Donald Trump used to have a stiff penis
and now he’s losing his erection. Will people still like him if his dick isn’t super
hard?” – Morning Joe Team
Of course, the writers for the propagandists and late-night
hacks alike rejoiced in glee at another chance to focus attention where it
matters most to them. A thousand articles and tweets a minute hoorayed the end
of Trump’s male dominance.
The entire shill-o-sphere waited with baited breath for
Trump’s grand unveiling. Soon, they assured each other, he will be exposed for
the flaccid stuffed suit they always knew he was. MSNBC, CNN and their affiliates
quivered with anticipation, readying their selves for the big blow.
Ever the gentleman, Trump didn’t let them fixate for too
long before he stabbed them in their guts again. He followed up a meeting with
the President of Mexico with an unapologetically solid immigration speech.
He was still hard, they exclaimed! It was a masterful performance
and a satisfying night. Even Hillary couldn’t help letting all her friends know
that Trump was still decidedly rigid:
Once again their attempts to marginalize Trump’s Minister of
the Interior had failed miserably.
In conclusion, this recurring theme makes it obvious that
the only way for Donald Trump to gain and keep the respect of the mainstream
media is for them to internalize the message that he has a big, rock-hard dong.
It’s something that he needs to pound into them until they feel it deep down
inside and never forget it. Only then will they stop obsessing and we can start
having an honest conversation about what else the country needs.
But, most importantly, let’s dispel
once and for all with the notion that Hillary and her media cronies don’t know
what they are doing. They know exactly what
they are doing. No one wants a president with a small flabby dick. If they did,
Jeb would be the Republican nominee. Luckily, the one man who can save this
country has both a massive rager and an instinctual understanding of the
importance of it: If Little Trump falls, Big Trump falls. If that happens, America
falls.
© Copyright Brandon Toy 2016
No comments:
Post a Comment